The Somewhat Odd Surprise:

He sat, watching the silent ripples running across the water.

They seemed different today, and this was quite odd because

There was only a feather-light, cooling breeze which barely

Allowed the trees to whisper their secrets to the birds above his 

Head. Suddenly, and somewhat to his surprise, the once small 

Ripples strengthened and some moments later a submarine, 

Startling both ducks and fish alike, broke the surface, its flanks 

Crusted with weed, rust and barnacles.  Raising his eyes to the 

Top of the conning tower he was most interested to see a much 

Repaired little flag bearing a neat swastika being purposefully 

Unfurled and then an extremely elderly gentleman in a rather 

Tattered but clean uniform, his head covered by a smart peaked 

Hat, appear and salute him.  Not knowing quite what was the 

Etiquette and appropriate way to act in such circumstances, he 

Saluted in return.  In broken French the geriatric then started to 

Speak most earnestly, totally confusing him, so he asked the 

Old chap if he parlez (ed) any anglais?  Indeed he did!  In a 

Crisp, somewhat clipped Welsh accent, his back now almost 

Ramrod straight, he quietly and insistently gave his surrender.

Somewhat nonplussed he nodded his perplexed understanding,

Explaining with care that he was an Irish national and therefore

A neutral in the affray.  Thinking on his feet, his mind now

Racing, he offered to take him to somebody who could accept

The offer.  He figured that at least the Marie had probably got 

Ancestors who were involved, probably in the resistance, as

An astonishingly large number now appeared to have been,

And that was the best he could come up with, so it would have

To do!  The old gentleman nodded imperceptibly his apparent

Contentment with the plan and commenced a most slow, and 

Frankly nerve-wracking to watch, climb down a rusting, and in

Places broken, ladder followed by another lean and elderly

Gentleman, his First Officer, he guessed.  A hatch on the deck 

Then creaked open a few centimetres, evidently stuck, and 

After some heavy banging – impact technology with a large 

Hammer, he guessed -  and endless German curses, opened 

Further and several more extremely old men came unhurriedly 

Up on to the deck, unhurriedly now being their only speed 

Setting, and pulled out and launched a small, battered dinghy.

The Captain and First Officer followed two of his crew in 

Climbing aboard and were oh so very slowly rowed ashore.

As the Captain was carefully disembarking he noticed a holster 

At his waist and felt some serious trepidation as the old chap

Drew out an immaculately clean, silver plated Luger, only to 

Reverse it almost tenderly and hand it to him in surrender 

Anyway.  Gingerly he took it, checked the safety and dropped 

Out the magazine, which he pocketed, and then stuck the pistol 

In his belt. As he did so the little dinghy made its way back to 

The U-boat and, as slowly as one would easily imagine in such  

Circumstances, ferried, three at a time, the rest of the aged 

Crew to dry land and then was tied up by its now shattered 

Oarsmen who with relief writ large climbed ashore themselves.

Finally there were 23 very elderly crew transferred ashore plus 

An ancient Brit whom they had atypically rescued, long and

Long ago from a deserted island.  He appeared to be on very 

Good terms with the crew, and especially so with the Captain 

Who he talked to solely in German, an unsurprising but none-

The-less interesting case of ‘Stockholm Syndrome’, he mused.  

Anyway, it was time to get on.  The First Officer mustered the 

Old Salts for the Captain to, with great seriousness, inspect, 

And, nodding his approval, they strolled up the hill and into the 

Village, chatting about neutral subjects – the weather, the 

Crops, the bird song – in a companionable sort of way.  It also 

Transpired that they both had a passion for Winnie-the-Pooh.  

When they passed the houses where folk were out, gardening, 

And such, they drew the odd stare but, arriving at the Marie’s 

Office without incident, he gave himself a quiet pat on the back 

For things going so very smoothly.  Not possessing a watch, 

However, he had not been cognisant of the passage of time.  It 

Was midday.  The Marie was closed up, shutters shut tight, all 

There having gone out, as was their wont, for a leisurely lunch.

He felt some small irritation at the situation, though, it must be 

Said, considerably less, it appeared, than the First Officer who 

Had felt most obvious, deep frustration at the failure of his 

Most persistent efforts to get the ancient men who formed the 

Crew to march in step, something they had obviously not done 

For a most considerable period of time, if ever.  Thus it was 

That he was calm as he explained how things were and most 

Thankful that the extremely elderly Captain coolly accepted the 

Position with a quiet equanimity and took to a bench with his 

Considerably less composed First Officer, and the prisoner, 

Ordering his creaking crew to sit on the ground.  Though they 

Obviously felt quite exhausted after their walk, this was still a 

Painful exercise to observe, and indeed to carry out, and he 

Wondered, with the silence of a true diplomat, whether many 

Would be able to ascend again without considerable assistance.

There they all sat in the warm sun, and cooling breeze, with the 

Occasional passers-by staring with both curiosity and not a 

Little wonder, but barely breaking a stride as they hurried to 

The bar for their plat du jour and litre or so of cider or red wine 

Before they wended their contented way back to work again.  

He pondered on this, briefly, more than a little hungry himself, 

But his mind swiftly returned to, as he now saw them, his new 

Guests, and they continued to chat happily until at last several 

Folk, including the Marie herself, appeared, walking slowly 

But talking with animation. This latter, impressive and most 

Important personage was more than a little puzzled as he then 

Explained the situation to her quietly in his appalling French.  

Initially he could see that she clearly thought him a lunatic and 

The whole business some kind of mad stunt, but at the last his 

Sincerity won the day and most courteously she invited them in

Where they again sat whilst she hastily made a series of phone

Calls.  That done she had her staff take water to the old chaps

Outside on the car park whilst they, indoors, drank coffee.

A short, anticipatory time passed and then screaming sirens 

Could be heard approaching.  As two police cars swung into 

The car park, only to halt abruptly due to the unthreatening, 

Elderly crew members peacefully seated there, a considerable 

Convoy of military vehicles arrived and heavily armed soldiers 

Leapt out and, with growing puzzlement, carefully covered the 

Old chaps.  Inside, the Marie nodded to him and he swiftly 

Stood, and retaining the magazine, returned the silver Luger to 

Its rightful owner, who stood also, with the help of his First 

Officer, squared up his hat and tattered uniform, holstered his 

Weapon and joined his men.  There was a pause as he again 

Slowly withdrew the Luger, reversed it and then waited.  An 

Officer came forward, saluted smartly, took the gun, checked it 

Was empty and chivalrously returned it as he accepted the 

Formal surrender.  His troops then shouldered their weapons 

And helped the seated crew creakily to their feet, ushering 

Them towards the trucks, whilst the Captain and First Officer 

Were offered the luxury of the police cars which, to their 

Credit, they refused, as did their erstwhile prisoner! Noticing

This he pondered.  Perhaps they had travelled in one such  

Before and held unhappy memories of the event, or sensible 

Apprehension about the driving! A small hiatus then ensued 

Which caught his attention at this point, until one of the more 

Innovative of the troopers suggested to his officer that perhaps 

The strategic use of some chairs might go a considerable way 

To alleviating their predicament.  Thus it was that several of 

Them were brought from the Marie’s office, under her most 

Suspicious glare – had she had her furniture stolen by soldiers 

Before, he wondered? -  and then slowly and most carefully, 

The old sailors were lifted onto these and then into the lorries.

He watched and waved in an abstracted sort of way as, at the  

First the police cars, sirens still screaming for some reason of 

Self-importance and the size of the driver’s private parts, and 

Then the laden lorries drove off at a sedate pace, being most 

Thoughtful about the infirmity of their contented captives.  He 

Then wished the Marie a ‘Bon journee’, leaving her recounting 

Her chairs, turned about and, most leisurely, wandered back 

Through the village and down to where he had parked his old 

Rangy.  Another troop of soldiers were now securing the area 

Around the submarine, much to the apparent annoyance of a 

Family of ducks and amusement of some cawing crows, but 

Kindly let him through.  Thoughtfully then, he drove home to 

Collect his wife and the dogs.  This day there was 1664 to be 

Drunk, and he must concentrate now upon doing his duty.  As 

For the puzzle of what an ancient U Boat and its elderly crew 

Was doing in the lake at Meneac, that could await another day.